@ 11:30 a.m. on Saturday, Sept. 06, 2003
In Tahiti for work.
I have at times felt very distraught again about my weight. I'm surrounded by beautiful, skinny women in bikinis and that makes me feel not ony jealous, but self conscious.
I walk around the hotel feeling like a clumsy, fat oaf. I feel ugly and unattractive. Even though I spend a lot of time on my make-up and hair and try to wear nice, flattering clothes, none of this matters, because I am fat.
I feel like a stranger in my own body. We are enemies. I see myself in the full length mirror in the hotel room and I feel sickened and disgusted. How could anyone ever love me like this? How did anyone in the past ever love me?
Starting Weight: 143.6kg | 315.92 Pounds
Current Weight: %%option1%%
Goal Weight: 60kg | 132 Pounds
Quote for today: %%option2%%
Reading: %%option3%%
older currentcurrent
archives
profile
notes
guestbook
rings
photos
goals
why?
design
diaryland
give me a note
missed
Engaged! - Sunday, Dec. 28, 2003
Week 10, Day 64 - Tuesday, Nov. 11, 2003
My Prince - Sunday, Nov. 09, 2003
An update at last - Wednesday, Nov. 05, 2003
Dreaming - Thursday, Oct. 30, 2003
friends
%%buddylist%%